


That Which Cannot Be

by smallsthehero



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Affairs, F/M, Romance, Secret Relationship, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-04 22:37:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallsthehero/pseuds/smallsthehero
Summary: One year after the Battle of Crait and the Resistance are slowly rebuilding their numbers on a new planet. Hoping for a chance to create a community free of the reformed New Order, General Leia Organa sends Rey to negotiate a peace treaty with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. The two confront each other over past transgressions and are surprised by the new feelings that grow between them.





	1. Chapter 1

Rey closed her eyes and moaned. She worked her hips as fast as she could, the sensations sending ripples of pleasure up her spine. Her dress had been pulled down to her midriff so that her breasts and shoulders were visible. He liked it that way, as evidenced by the red marks she was covered with from his bites.

Hands grasped tightly at her hips and fingers dug themselves desperately into her skin. She grinned and ran her hands down the chest of the man beneath her. He emitted a small groan at the touch. Leaning down, she put her lips right next to his ear.

“You like it when I ride your cock this hard, don’t you Ben?” she whispered huskily to him.

“Yeah,” he replied, his grip tightening on her as she continued her relentless movements. He then closed his eyes and let out a cry that Rey was all too familiar with. Holding her in place on top of him, he thrust slowly upward into her a few more times as his orgasm played out. Then his arms fell to his sides and he lay there panting from the activity.

Rey sat back up on top of him and folded her arms across her chest. “Really?” she huffed. “I was so close to finishing.”

His eyes opened and he gave her a smirk that only made her want more. “You know what whispering dirty things in my ear does. I take no responsibility for that one.”

“What am I to do then?” she asked him, giving him a pointed look. “I feel cheated.”

She gave a small yelp as, in one swift motion, she found herself thrown down onto her back with Ben above her. Before she could teasingly ask if he had used the Force to do that, his face was between her legs. She gasped as he went to work on pleasuring her without another word on the matter. He didn’t seem to care that he was tasting himself as he slipped his tongue inside of her.

Rey’s hand entwined itself into his hair while the other covered her mouth to stifle her moans. She wasn’t sure why she bothered trying to keep quiet anymore. Ben clearly didn’t care if anyone heard them and it wasn’t like the entire New Order were blind to the affair.

As if he could read what was on her mind, which he may or may not have actually done given his power to do so, Ben reached up and pulled her hand away from her mouth. “Don’t hold back,” he told her breathlessly as he paused from his work to look up at her. “I want to hear you.”

Now free to let her moans out, Rey did not disappoint. When he plugged two of his fingers into her, the moans escalated to screams. It wasn’t long before her body shook. She grasped his hair tightly as her orgasm exploded forth.

“Thanks,” she panted as he slid his fingers out of her. He grinned up at her from between her legs and stuck the two fingers into his mouth to lick them clean.

She watched as he then strode, fully naked and still partially erect, across the room to his desk. He checked the monitor there and sighed heavily upon seeing something on the screen.

“Damn. I have to meet with the senator of Naboo in five minutes,” he called back to her. “Think you could see yourself back to your ship?”

Rey sighed too and sat up on the bed. “Always work with you, isn’t it?” she accused as she pulled her dress back up over her shoulders.

“I’m the Supreme Leader of the galaxy,” he replied, walking back over to the bed to retrieve his discarded clothes. “Have to keep the New Order running smoothly, you know?”

He paused beside the bed and stroked her face, gazing at her with those dark eyes that always managed to draw her in. Then he smiled, not a smirk but one that was warm and gentle. “How did I get so lucky?” he murmured.

Rey leaned into his touch and pressed her lips into the palm of his hand. “Don’t keep your senator waiting,” she replied.

Ben kissed her lips deeply before, with one last lingering look at her sitting on his bed, he finished dressing and departed.

When he was gone, Rey contemplated his words: _How did I get so lucky?_ She thought back to three months ago, before their affair started. She knew exactly when it had started, but why? How had two people who had been so against each other become what they were now? Rey replayed the events in her mind, trying to pinpoint how things had changed between them.

*   *   *

It had been an entire year since the Battle of Crait. The remaining Resistance members had escaped with Rey on the Millennium Falcon and made for the planet of Novalis. Leia said there was a small group of allies who had a base there. It was a long shot but they might take them in. They were among those the Resistance had sent distress calls out to on Crait but had received no response from.

Rey had hoped they would take them in. There had been too much damage, too much loss over the past few weeks. They needed a spot of good luck. And if the allies on Novalis did not accept them, Rey had no idea what they would do then.

Fortunately, the allies turned out to be very welcoming. They apologized heartily to Leia for being unable to come to their aid. While the Battle of Crait had been going on, the allies had been fending off their own attack on Novalis. They had tried to get ships out to help but the First Order forces blocked them in. By the time they fought them off and got to Crait, they saw the battle was over and retreated.

No longer in danger for the time being, the remaining members took this time to rest and recuperate. Finn tended to a still unconscious Rose, Leia spoke with the leader of the Novalis allies in their control room, and Poe worked on helping repair some of the ships on base. This left Rey to retreat to her room and quietly contemplate everything that had happened.

Over the next few months, they began to turn the Novalis base into a refuge of sorts. They would send out calls all over the galaxy, looking for groups who wanted to be free of the First Order, now called the New Order by their Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

Leia had been the one who suggested the plan. All the losses had taken their toll on the general to the point where she wanted to conserve lives rather than continue to lose them. She had the idea of creating a place that could be free of the New Order’s rule. If they got enough people to join, they could slowly build up the base and even create their own community. It was a shaky plan but their safest option given the current situation of the Resistance.

“I don’t like it,” Finn had confided to Rey after the meeting. “I feel like we’re just giving up the fight—saving ourselves rather than the galaxy.”

Rey shrugged, fiddling with a thread on her tunic. “We’re not giving up on them though. Leia said we’ll be sending out word to find those who want to be free. We are going to save lives, just maybe not all of them.”

It was a risky plan and many of the Resistance members felt the same way Finn did. Surprisingly, Poe supported General Leia’s idea. He rallied the nay-sayers together, giving them a long speech about how saving the galaxy did not mean leading a suicide mission to wipe the New Order out. Rather, they had to take the time to rebuild the Resistance and create a strong group of individuals. And then, someday, they could then defeat the Order.

“This is about preservation of life right now,” he told them. “We’re nowhere near ready to take on the New Order. We have to build up our numbers again, become bigger than them. Once we do that, we can bring them down just like we’ve been trying to. Please, trust the General. She knows what she’s doing.”

Rey wanted to believe in Leia. Outwardly, she supported the idea. She went obediently on the missions to help transport allies from their planets to Novalis. However, like Finn many of the other remaining Resistance members, she didn’t want to wait. She wanted to go straight to the New Order ships and take them all out.

It was Kylo Ren’s fault that she felt this way. He had turned away from everything Rey had offered him to start the New Order. It hurt her, not only because she’d believed in him but because of Leia. Kylo had the chance to go back to his mother and he threw that chance away for power. For the second time, he had given up the love of a parent which was something Rey had so desperately craved her entire life.

She wanted to confront him again, bring him to his knees and stop him from continuing to be Supreme Leader. However, Rey did not want to kill him. She was unsure if she even could kill him. She did want him to answer to her and the Resistance for what he’d done though. What form that would take, she was still unsure. It looked like she would have plenty of time to decide with the new plan being set into motion.

The venture was not an easy or a safe one. While they were building their new community, the New Order tried to intercept the transports coming in with new arrivals. Fortunately, the losses were minimal. The attacks, in Rey’s opinion, didn’t seem to be as relentless as they could have been. She wondered if this was Kylo’s way of possibly going easy on them, or maybe he wasn’t as good a tactician as he thought. Either way, their community was growing and the New Order didn’t seem to be doing as much as they could to stop it.

Still, the continued attacks had Leia worried. And, as a year went by with their community becoming larger and starting to build on to their base, she grew concerned with drawing their attention.

“I think the New Order has allowed us to continue on because we’re not a threat,” she told them during a meeting on the one year anniversary of the Battle of Crait. “However, in the past year we’ve grown bigger than we were before. If we get too big, they’re going to take notice. They’ll destroy us in a heartbeat once they see what we’ve become.”

“So what do we do?” asked Finn. “We’re greater in numbers now, we could fight them.”

“That wouldn’t do any good,” put in Poe. “We’d lose too many if we took them on now. We’re going to have to find another way to take their attention away from us.”

There were murmurs in the room at that. Many of those present seemed to side with Finn, thinking that a fight was the best way to go.

“We have good weapons,” said Rose. “We could launch a sneak attack on them so we have the advantage.”

Leia sighed and walked to the middle of the room. “I have an idea but I know you’re all not going to like it.” There were more murmurs but Leia held up her hand for silence. “You’ve all trusted me so many times before. I ask you to trust me again, at least one more time.”

“Let’s hear it,” said Rey, the first words she’d spoken in a meeting in quite some time. She was interested to hear what Leia had decided to do about the New Order.

The General gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Rey. What I propose is that we sign a treaty with the New Order.”

Instead of murmurs, this time cries of outrage filled the room. How could they make peace with the New Order? They were brutes led by an even more brutal man. This was not right.

“Stop,” Rey said loudly, and the room quieted down. “Let the General explain herself before you start arguing with her.”

“If we sign a treaty, they will stop their attacks,” Leia went on when the room was quiet. “I know many of you would rather die than make peace with them but believe me when I say it’s our best chance.”

“If they see a Resistance ship coming then the one flying it is dead before they can even board,” Rose pointed out.

“You can send a transmission beforehand,” said Rey. “Let them know what you want. They may be brutal but they’ll respect a parlay.”

Poe nodded in agreement. “Especially if it’s just one ship. They’ll hear us out at least.”

“What if they don’t?” Finn asked. “What if they shoot whoever goes just to send a message to us that they don’t want peace?”

“Then it’s a risk we’ll just have to take,” said Leia. “Besides, I’ve already decided—I’ll be the one to go.”

There was silence after that. Everyone in the room stared at their General in shock. They all wanted to argue but knew it was futile. Leia was stubborn in her ways and when she set her mind to something, she saw it through. Only one person dared to speak up after her bold statement.

“No,” said Rey, and everyone in the room turned to look at her. She stood up from her chair and moved towards Leia. “I’ll go.”

“Rey, you—” Leia started but Rey cut her off.

“I need to confront him, General,” she said to her earnestly. “You know I do. I have to face him.”

Leia massaged her temple. “We don’t want him dead. We just want him to sign the peace treaty. You won’t get to fight him.”

“I don’t want to fight him,” Rey insisted. “But he will hear me out. He won’t have me killed.”

“He won’t have me killed either,” Leia said confidently. “I know he won’t.”

“Leia, please.”

The two women looked at each other for a long time, so long that the other people in the room began to wonder if they should speak up or let the silence play out.

Through the Force, Rey was showing Leia all that had transpired between her and Kylo Ren during the time she spent with Luke on Ach-To. She had not disclosed this information to anyone over the past year. However, Leia had to understand why she needed to confront him, and to do that she told her in the only way that would keep it from the rest of the room.

“Very well,” Leia said when she finished explaining herself. “Rey will be the one to go.”

The entire room was shocked at these words, including Rey. She had been certain that Leia would continue to be firm on her point even after she showed her what had happened. The older woman severed their connection and turned to face the rest of the room.

“Rey will deliver the treaty to the New Order,” she repeated. “Any arguments?”

No one in the room argued with her or Rey though they looked like they wanted to. This time, that word was the final one. With no more to say on the matter, Leia dismissed the meeting.

*   *   *

Leia spent the next day writing up the treaty and coaching Rey on what to do when she approached the New Order fleet. Rey assured her countless times that she would be successful. She felt guilty, taking away Leia’s opportunity to see her son again. If she accomplished her goal though, there was a good chance that she would be able to reunite them under safer circumstances.

Something about Leia’s resolve had changed after Rey had shown her the interactions she’d had with Kylo Ren. At first she’d argued with Rey but as soon as she saw them she gave in. Rey couldn’t help but wonder what had changed her mind and she asked her while prepping for her dangerous mission.

“You’re the only one equal to him left,” she explained patiently. “He was intrigued by you—he still is. I don’t think he wants you out of the picture just yet.”

Rey felt there was more Leia wasn’t telling her on the matter but she let it go. Leia was the only one who supported her going. Even Poe had expressed his concerns about her facing Kylo Ren alone. She did not let herself be dissuaded by anyone. Her mind had been made up long ago.

The day of her meeting, Leia led her to a small storage room that turned out to be full of elegant dresses. Rey was confused until Leia pulled down a golden one and handed it to her.

“You want me to wear this?” she asked incredulously. Rey had never seen such fine material before. She felt she wasn’t good enough to deserve something so beautiful.

“It was my mother’s,” Leia told her. “All these dresses were. She was queen of Naboo for a number of years before being made a senator there. From what I hear, her political skills were a sight to behold. I think it’s good luck if you wear one today.”

Rey’s face felt hot. “I don’t know…” She trailed off as her fingers stroked the smooth material.

“It’s not a display of weakness, you know. It’s a sign of confidence. You show up looking like a princess and they’ll kneel before you.”

Rey was unsure if she wanted anyone kneeling before her but she trusted Leia’s judgement. Leia was still a princess herself, even if the planet she had been princess of was long since gone. She took the dress to her quarters and put it on as she was told.

It was an odd feeling, wearing a dress for the first time. Rey walked around the room several times in it. She marveled at how it felt to have her bare legs move against each other and the way the golden dress swayed about her lower half. She didn’t have a mirror to look at herself in but she felt beautiful.

The majority of the Resistance had gathered to see Rey off. There was much resting on her shoulders and she couldn’t help but feel a pit of anxiety in her stomach. Hundreds of eyes looked to her at that moment, all filled with hope that the peace treaty would be signed and honored.

Finn, Chewie, Rose, and Poe all hugged Rey tightly before she boarded her ship. Leia held her longest of all and Rey felt herself tear up. It felt like a mother’s hug and she savored the warmth it brought to her heart. When they parted, Leia reached up and tugged Rey’s hair loose from the bun she had put it in. Rey opened her mouth to protest but Leia held up her hand.

“Down looks better with that dress, trust me,” she told her in a low voice. “Good luck Rey, and may the Force be with you.”

Rey was alone on the ship that would take her to the New Order. It was best that she went alone in case the plan did not work or the New Order decided to turn on her. Rey was sure she could fight her way out if need be but having another life to save would make things more difficult.

She wished someone was with her though—Finn, Chewie, anybody. It was maddening for her, taking that trip across the galaxy by herself and not knowing what lay ahead. She was going with the sole hope that they would not shoot her down. Would Kylo Ren allow it? Rey was uncertain. All she could do was pray that he had not changed his mind about her during their year apart.

It had also not been decided what she was going to do if and when she came face to face with him. A year ago, if she had seen him she would have punched him in the stomach and dragged him back to the Resistance to receive their justice. Now, she still thought that was a promising idea although not a smart one. There had to be another way she could take him out and bring him back with her.

Leia was counting on her to deliver this treaty though. That was the plan that she believed would save the Resistance. As much as Rey wanted to go against it and do what her heart told her she should do, it was not a good idea. If she went against the General it was no small transgression. Kylo Ren would not be the only answering to the Resistance when she returned. Gritting her teeth, Rey pushed away her desire to do the mission her way and continued on.

Eventually, she dropped out of light speed and her heart sank when she saw the New Order fleet. Soon it would be decided what her fate was—either shot out of the sky or allowed on their ship and brought before the Supreme Leader. Rey couldn’t decide which one sounded worse.

Approaching the ship, she swallowed hard and sent her transmission to them: “This is Rey of the Resistance, sent by General Leia Organa to deliver a treaty of peace to the New Order.”

There was a pregnant silence over the intercom. Then, “Switch off your ship’s shields.”

She swallowed again. “Why?” she asked, unable to contain her defiance.

“We’re going to lock onto your ship and scan for other life forms besides you.”

Rey took a deep breath. If she lowered the shields there was a good chance they would not scan but instead shoot her down. She had to think quickly and calmly in order to avoid such a fate.

“I am here to speak with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren,” she explained in a level tone. “Tell him I am here and waiting for his approval to board.”

The man on the New Order end laughed at her. “The Supreme Leader? Yes, of course.”

Rey’s hands clenched angrily at her sides. “I assure you, he will hear me out when you tell him Rey is here to see him.”

Still sounding skeptical, the man replied that he would deliver her message. More silence followed after this. She almost feared they had not taken her seriously and were simply going to ignore her.

Finally, the voice came back on. It no longer sounded amused and skeptical when it said “The Supreme Leader has granted your request to board. Approach loading bay nine and disembark there. Know that you have hundreds of guns trained on you and your ship. Any foul play will be dealt with swiftly and without mercy.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and cautiously moved her ship forward. As she approached the loading bay, she noticed a section of their shield was lowered momentarily to let her through. When she looked back after passing through it, she saw that it had closed up once again behind her. The sight gave her a sick feeling in her stomach. She had a bad feeling about this.

The loading bay door opened to allow her entry and she carefully docked her ship in a spot where six Stormtroopers were signaling to her. It was strange, getting in to the New Order this easily. Rey couldn’t help but wonder if she were walking right into a trap. She supposed it was too late to worry about that now.

She opened the ship’s door and exited, only to be met by about a dozen blasters being pointed right at her. The Stormtroopers formed a U-shape before her. All of them looked ready to shoot if she put even one toe out of line. However, Rey had no time to be intimidated. She had a job to do.

Rey held her head up high. She remembered what Leia had said: _“Show up looking like a princess and they’ll kneel before you.”_

“Take me to Supreme Leader Kylo Ren,” she demanded, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. Rey had no idea how a princess was meant to act but if Leia’s behavior was anything to go on then she had an idea.

The Stormtroopers kept their guns trained on her while they lead her out of the loading bay. Behind her, she could hear several more of them boarding her ship to search it. Rey kept up her act of confidence as they took her through the dark hallways of the ship. She had made it this far—there was no way she was going to show weakness now.

Stormtroopers and other New Order members turned their heads to follow her as she went. At first Rey thought it was her confidence that caught their attention but then she heard a whisper that told her what it really was:

“That’s the girl who killed Supreme Leader Snoke.”

Rey felt a stab of anger shoot through her. So Kylo had blamed her for the death of his master. She couldn’t say she was surprised, but she was hurt. How could he pin his deed on her? To save himself from the wrath of the Order? It was just one more thing he would have to answer to when she faced him again.

When they got to a tall set of doors, the Stormtroopers told her to wait outside. Four of them stayed outside to guard her while two of them went through the doors. Rey peered into the room but did not see any sign of Kylo Ren in there before they closed again. So she waited patiently, wondering if she really was being taken to him or walking into the trap she’d been dreading.

The doors opened again and the two Stormtroopers barked at her to enter. It was a big room, all black with only a few lights lining the dark walls. A chair which looked like a throne stood at the end of the room atop a dais but it was empty. Rey looked around her as she walked. They seemed to be the only ones in this room. Was it supposed to be a throne room? If so, why was he not there?

The escort stopped before the chair. Again, Rey was told to wait but this time none of the Stormtroopers stayed to guard her. All of them turned and walked back out of the room through the doors they had come in. Rey watched them go, confusion seeping in. Was this it? Was this where they were going to kill her? She was unsure of what exactly was going on.

Left alone, Rey explored the room. She walked up the steps of the dais to examine the throne. It had a straight back to it and no cushioning. Overall it did not look very comfortable to sit on. She wondered if he used it at all or if it was just for show. She couldn’t help but smirk. That sounded like Kylo Ren—doing something only for show.

She ran her fingers along the back of the chair and down its arm. So this was what he gave up his chance with her for. Rey wondered if he was happy, living this new life as ruler of the galaxy. From what she had seen of the ship and his throne room it didn’t seem like a happy life. Still, maybe he got some satisfaction from it.

“Rey,” she heard a voice behind her say. She stiffened, her hand retreating from the chair and falling slowly to her side. It was a soft voice, a low one, and one she had not expected to hear ever again.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she turned around. “Hello, Kylo Ren.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rey stood on the dais, staring down at the man she had been half hoping she would never see again. He looked the same as ever, the only difference being a change in clothes. He still wore black but now it was more akin to Jedi robes than his former outfit had been. She wondered what had brought on his decision to look more like the past self that he had tried so hard to bury.

          Behind him were two Stormtroopers. One of them said “We have searched the girl and her ship and she is completely unarmed, Supreme Leader.”

          The ghost of a smirk passed over Kylo Ren’s face. “You missed the blaster attached to her inner thigh beneath her dress,” he pointed out to them. When they didn’t respond, he continued “She won’t use it on me so it’s an excusable error. You’re dismissed.”

          The Stormtroopers retreated and Rey was left alone with Kylo Ren. Just as she was wondering if she should say something, he finally spoke again. “What are you doing here, Rey?”

          She closed her eyes. Hearing him say her name again made a strange feeling come over her. Also, how did he know about the blaster under her dress? Annoyed, she brushed it off and squared her shoulders.

          “General Leia Organa sent me here to propose a peace treaty between the New Order and the Resistance on Novalis,” she recited, keeping all emotion out of her voice. She pulled the drive containing the peace treaty from a pouch at her side and extended it out to him. “We would like to continue our community outside of the New Order in exchange for no more fighting on both sides.”

          Kylo Ren did not react but continued to stare up at her with his dark eyes. Then he said again “Why are _you_ here, Rey?”

          She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what you mean, Supreme Leader.”

          He took a few steps forward. “Any one of the Resistance members could have delivered that treaty. Why did they send you?”

          “I volunteered,” she replied simply.

          He fell silent again. She waited patiently as he assessed her. His eyes moved up and down her figure briefly before resting on her face once again. “What made you think I wouldn’t kill you when I saw you again?” he asked in a low voice.

          “Hope,” said Rey. “Hope that some part of Ben Solo still remains inside of you.”

          Kylo looked down at the floor. “You hung too much on that hope. I could have had them shoot your ship down, you know.”

          “Yet here I am,” Rey pointed out. “Looks like my hope was not wrongly placed.”

          “So, you’ve come to make peace then,” he said, walking up the steps to meet her on the dais. He accepted the drive and twisted it thoughtfully between his fingers. “The girl who could have ruled the galaxy but turned it down for a group of murderers and thieves.”

          She scowled at him. “And you’re the man who had the chance to give up his power for redemption but you threw it all away for this.”

          “You tried to kill me,” he accused, his hand tightening on the drive.

          “No I didn’t,” she defended.

          “Then why did you try and take the lightsaber?”

          “Because you already had one and I needed something to defend myself in my escape. Besides, if I wanted to kill you then I would have done it while you were unconscious after the blast.”

          His expression softened slightly when he heard that. Rey wondered if that was another grudge he had been holding against her in addition to her rejection.

          “So what is your purpose now?” he asked, his tone weary. “Still trying to get me to go back with you to the light?”

          “The peace treaty,” she reminded him. “I am here to negotiate—”

          “You expect me to believe that you flew here, alone, all the way from Novalis just to get me to sign a treaty?” he cut her off.

          Rey flushed. “Yes, that’s exactly what I expect you to believe because it’s the truth.”

          “You came here to confront me. Go on, say it.”

          Her jaw clenched. “You read my mind, didn’t you? That’s also how you knew about the blaster under my dress.”

          He looked at her and a small smirk appeared on his lips. “Actually, your dress is see-through when the light shines behind you and that’s how I saw it.” When Rey glared at him, he shrugged. “Wouldn’t you be more upset if I had read your mind and found out that way?”

          “Yes,” she said bitterly.

          “So what are you going to do then?” he asked. “Fight me? Bring me to justice?”

          Rey took a deep breath. “No, I’m going to do exactly as Leia told me and get this treaty signed.”

          “You’re lying,” Kylo Ren pointed out. “I don’t need to read your mind to feel the conflict raging inside you. You want to follow Leia’s orders but at the same time you want to confront me over what I’ve done.”

          She clenched her hands at her sides. “Don’t act like you know me so well. You betrayed me and slaughtered hundreds of Resistance members. And here you are, continuing to act like you know what’s in my heart.”

          He took a step closer to her. “I do know what’s in your heart, Rey. I’ve been inside you, I’ve seen it. You want to be free but you’re afraid at what the cost will be for that freedom. That vision we shared, it can still come true.”

          “The vision we shared was a lie,” she growled back at him. “Just like the bond between us. It was all a lie that Snoke created to manipulate us both.”

          “Was it though?” he asked, his tone growing softer. “What we felt—you and I—wasn’t that part real?”

          She turned away. “I felt nothing.” Rey did not see his reaction to her words. She didn’t want to. All she wanted at that moment was to get the treaty signed and go back to the Resistance.

          “I see,” he replied and she could hear the partially concealed hurt in his voice when he said it. “So this is your purpose for coming here then—to tell me you want nothing more to do with me?”

          “My purpose here is to get the treaty signed so we can—”

          She felt his hand on her chin. Gently, he turned her head so that she was looking at him once more. Rey hadn’t realized how close he had moved and jumped a little at the touch. When she looked up at him, she could see his eyes were blazing just as they had been when he’d begged for her to join him.

          “Enough of this,” he murmured. “You can lie to me all you want but you can’t lie to yourself. Now tell me once and for all, why did you come here?”

          Rey glared up at him defiantly, her heart burning. His words had angered her but she still didn’t pull away from him. Something about his touch, his proximity, and the way his eyes bored into hers drew her in. Startled by these feelings, Rey did the first thing that came into her head: She pushed him back using the Force.

          She hadn’t meant to push him very hard, but he still went flying back across the throne room. He landed in a crouch a few feet away, looking at her with a mixture of surprise and admiration.

          Rey was shaking. She had been so calm up until that point and now…well, it looked like the treaty was not going to get signed.

          Kylo Ren got to his feet. He began to approach her but Rey shot out her hand once more and sent him sliding backwards across the smooth, black floor. This time though, he pushed back. Kylo stuck out his own hand and Rey felt herself be lifted up off the dais and tossed across the room.

          She shut her eyes tightly as she fell, waiting to feel the painful impact of the floor beneath her. It never came, and when she opened her eyes again she saw that she was hovering just a few inches above it. Turning, she saw Kylo Ren striding toward her, his hand outstretched.

          He was only a few feet away when Rey broke free of his hold on her. Reaching towards him once more, she sent a wave of the Force hurtling at him. He flipped once and landed hard on the ground. Rey also landed on the ground since Kylo’s concentration had been broken with her blow.

          She rolled over onto her side and pushed herself to her feet. This was difficult to do in a dress and she stumbled on the hem. By the time she stood up after fumbling in the dress, Kylo Ren was already on his feet and facing her. He didn’t look angry at her having attacked him. On the contrary, Rey thought she saw a smile playing at his lips.

          Angered by this, Rey lowered her head. _I’m sorry Leia_ , she apologized in her mind. Then she took off towards him at a sprint. Kylo Ren had no time to get over his surprise before she caught him round the middle and tackled him to the floor.

          The two struggled on the floor with one another, Rey trying to get the upper hand and Kylo just trying to defend himself from her angry blows. She caught him by the wrists, pinning him down with a mixture of her own strength and the Force.

          “Why?” she demanded as she struggled to keep him beneath her. Tears were forming in her eyes now and slowly sliding down her cheeks.

          “Why what?” he asked, his voice still calm ever as he struggled with her.

          “Why did you turn away from me?” He tried to get up but she pushed him back down again. “Answer me, now!”

          He stopped struggling to look up at her. Seeing her tears and hearing the earnestness in her voice must have given him pause. For the first time since their reunion, he looked as though he felt for her. Ben Solo wasn’t truly gone after all then.

          “To end the cycle,” he replied quietly.

          Keeping him pinned, Rey asked “What do you mean by that?”

          Kylo Ren closed his eyes. “For generations, the same thing keeps happening over and over. A dark side user rises, only for one equally strong in the light to rise too. One defeats the other and there is peace, only for the same thing to happen again later. Over and over it’s happened. It happened with my grandfather and Luke and now it’s happening again with you and me.”

          “I don’t understand,” said Rey, shaking her head in confusion.

          He opened his eyes again. “You and I are equals in the Force, Rey—one dark, one light. If we keep on like this, we’ll destroy each other. The New Order—my idea for the future—it was to break that cycle. It would have given us a chance to start something new, not as enemies destined to destroy one another but as equals working together to make the galaxy a better place.”

          “A balance,” she whispered.

          Kylo nodded. “When you rejected my offer—I thought that meant the cycle could never be broken. So, I accepted my role as the dark side user and took over the First Order, making it into the New Order. And since then, I’ve been waiting for the inevitable—for you to come destroy me.”

          Her grip on him tightened. “You’re wrong. I didn’t have to go to your side. You could have come over to mine.”

          Rey gasped as he pushed her off of him. She suddenly found herself on the floor with Kylo Ren on top of her, keeping her down. She struggled against him but his hands pinned her wrists above her head and his knees were on top of her dress, making it impossible for her to get back up.

          “Don’t you see, Rey?” he continued as if nothing had happened. “The Resistance isn’t the answer either. They believe the galaxy should be left to run itself but that won’t work either. They will fight and sacrifice lives until their cause is won.”

          “Isn’t that what the First Order did, and the New Order continues to do? Besides, the galaxy doesn’t need a ruler. It needs to be left alone.”

          “Let’s say it is left alone,” he said patiently. “The New Order is defeated like the Resistance wants and everything is at peace. Do you honestly think that peace can last? Give it two or three years and those planets will be at war with each other again.”

          She shook her head. “You’re wrong.”

          “Am I though? There can be no peace without someone enforcing it, Rey. That’s my vision for the future—a galaxy that exists in a neutral state, where no one side has more power. That will break the cycle.”

          “Except the New Order,” Rey pointed out. “You will have power.”

          He gave her a wry smile. “Yes but does that matter if I am putting it to good use?”

          The two of them fell silent after that. Rey was pondering his words. As much as she hated to admit it, his views made sense. If someone was in charge of the galaxy, they could keep the peace. Still, was the New Order lead by Kylo Ren really the best group to do that? If the Resistance was in charge, would they do any better?

          Rey also became aware of the physical position she had found herself in. A man was on top of her, straddling her and holding her arms above her head. It was certainly a compromising position she did not want anyone to walk in and see. Her face heated up as she considered the implications.

Still, there was something about it that she found…exciting. She looked down at his nether region, which was pressed firmly into her own. His face was merely inches from hers and his grip on her hands while tight was not painful. It also didn’t help that her dress had slid from her shoulder during the fight and now the top of her breasts were clearly visible to him from above her.

He seemed to be thinking along the same lines she was. When she looked at his face, she saw that his eyes had trailed down her body, lingering on her exposed skin. His lips parted and he moved his eyes back up to her face. Rey thought at first he was going to lean down and kiss her but he didn’t. Instead, he sat up, climbed off of her, and offered his hand to help her up. Heart pounding and face steaming hot, Rey accepted.

“This peace treaty of yours,” he said slowly “what does it entail?”

She nodded, walked over, and picked up the drive he had accidentally discarded during the battle. “It’s all on here,” she replied, handing it back to him. “You can read it over and decide if it’s something the New Order will agree to or not.”

He looked down at the drive in his hand for a few moments, turning it over and over. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. When he looked back up at her, his expression had changed into one Rey could not read.

“I have a quiet place we can review this and discuss it without any interruptions,” he told her in a low voice. “Do you have any objection to that?”

Rey thought of other New Order members coming in and trying to sway his decision to favor them and not the Resistance. It would be better if it was just the two of them in negotiations. She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”

Kylo Ren beckoned for her to follow him out of the throne room. Before she entered the outside hallway, Rey quickly adjusted the shoulder of her dress and smoothed back her hair. There was no need to give his underlings any ideas of what just happened between the two of them.

He led her through the ship, down mostly deserted hallways. The few Stormtroopers they passed saluted Kylo. They ignored Rey. She followed closely behind him, wondering where they were going and if their fight was really over. There was still much she felt she had to say to him. For now though, her heart was bursting with other feelings that didn’t leave much room for anything else.

They stopped in front of an ordinary-looking door with a key code box beside it. Kylo typed a few numbers in and it slid open for them. He gestured her inside before him. When they were both inside, he closed the door behind them.

It was a spacious room that they had entered. There was a desk with a large monitor sitting on top of it, a doorway to their right that seemed to lead into a bathroom, another desk with calligraphy scrolls and brushes cluttering it, and what looked like a small couch. Rey’s heartbeat also quickened when she saw a sizeable bed against the wall at the far end.

“Is this your—bedroom?” she gaped.

“Quietest place on the ship,” he replied, heading towards the monitor on the desk. Rey followed and watched as he plugged the drive into the computer. A few seconds passed and the file opened, revealing the treaty that Leia had created. Leaning over the desk, he began to read it.

While he was reading, Rey took the time to explore the room a bit. She was curious about what sort of things the Supreme Leader of the galaxy kept. She drifted over to the desk and looked through the scrolls, which were all covered in very neatly written characters she could not quite read but recognized all the same.

“These are Jedi symbols,” she mused aloud.

“Luke taught me during my time as a padawan learner,” Kylo Ren called from his place at the desk. “Writing them helps keep me calm and focused.”

“Can’t imagine why you’d need that.” Rey pulled one over that had caught her eye. It seemed to be the same three-character word written over and over on the page. Her fingers brushed along them. She had only studied the texts from Ach-To a little bit, but she recognized the first letter: R. The second letter…was it an E? And the last one…a Y maybe?

“Can you read it?” Rey jumped when she heard his voice directly behind her. She had been so busy trying to decipher the letters that she hadn’t heard him cross the room towards her.

She pushed the parchment away. “Only a little bit. I sort of stole the sacred Jedi texts from Luke and took them with me.”

He actually gave a small smile at that. “You stole the sacred Jedi texts?” he repeated.

Rey grinned in spite of herself. “Sort of. It’s not like he was reading them anyway. Besides, the caretakers of the island didn’t like me already so I didn’t think it would make much difference.”

“You’re an interesting person, Rey,” said Kylo Ren. “One minute I think I have you figured out and the next you keep on surprising me.”

“Is this my name?” she asked him, gesturing to the parchment she’d pushed away.

He seemed embarrassed when he nodded his head in the affirmative. “It’s repetitive—soothing.”

They were close again, as they had been on the floor in the throne room. This time, Rey was on her feet and leaning against a desk while he stood a few feet away, considering her with that same unreadable expression from earlier. She had not forgotten, nor had time to calm down from those feelings being so close to him brought on. She wondered if he felt the same way.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asked finally, her hands gripping the desk behind her. “Surely there are other rooms on your ship that would have worked just as well for this meeting.”

“I think you know why,” he replied, his voice low again and somewhat husky.

Rey bit her bottom lip, looking down at the scrolls behind her so she didn’t have to meet his gaze. Her heart seemed like it was going a mile a minute. She was torn—everything about this should have felt completely wrong to her. And yet, something about it felt right.

She felt him move closer. “If you don’t want this, Rey, tell me now. One word from you and I will stop.”

Rey sighed and turned to face him finally. She wished she hadn’t, because now he was just a foot away from her and staring at her in such a way that was making her legs weak.

“We can’t do this,” she whispered to him. “I mean—what will they say about us?”

“No one has to know,” he whispered back to her. She watched as he slowly removed his gloves from his hands and tossed them to the floor. He then moved his hands forward so that they entwined themselves with her own. “It can be a secret.”

His touch was warm and Rey found she was now craving it. Still, this was dangerous. “We’re enemies,” she argued. It felt like she was just grasping at straws now. “We’re on opposite sides of this fight.”

“Then let’s create a balance,” Kylo Ren murmured to her. “One word, Rey, and I will stop.”

“I—I don’t want you to stop,” Rey admitted as his hands pulled away from hers and instead moved around her waist.

He looked into her eyes. His face was just inches from her own now. “Are you sure you want this?”

“Yes,” Rey replied breathlessly. Now tired of his waiting and deciding to throw all caution to the wind, Rey gave into her desires and moved forward to kiss him.

When their lips touched it was like a fire had erupted between them. The repressed feelings that had been building inside both of them for so long now burst forth into a burning hot flame of passion. Kylo hoisted Rey onto the desk, knocking pens and parchment and ink onto the floor. Rey wrapped her legs around him, drawing him closer to her as he kissed her furiously on top of the desk.

She could no longer think straight. All she could feel was her want, her need for him growing hot inside her. It was making her wet between her legs, something she had never experienced with anyone before. Rey had had very little experience with sex before. All she knew was that something needed to be done to quell those flames in her lower region before she burned to ash.

Something hard pressed into her down there and she moaned into Kylo’s mouth. She broke the kiss momentarily to look down and see what it was. Something was pushing forth in his black trousers in the area where his sex was. The sight made Rey even more excited although she didn’t quite understand why. While Kylo attacked her neck with kisses and bites, Rey reached down to give the bulge a curious stroke.

Almost as soon as she did, Kylo gave a low moan into her neck. Rey looked over at him with sudden concern. “What is it?” she asked.

“Again,” he commanded breathlessly. “Touch it again.”

Rey did as she was told. She realized that this bulge was his sex, suddenly engorged and hardened because of their activity. Just as she enjoyed having hers touched, he enjoyed it as well. Intrigued by his desperate moans and whimpers from her touches, Rey grabbed hold of it firmly and pulled upward.

This proved too much for Kylo. He picked her up with relative ease off the desk and carried her over to the bed. When he got there, he laid her down on top of the sheets and began to take off his clothes. Rey sat up and stopped him.

“No,” she said. Upon seeing his confused expression, she smiled mischievously and added “Let me do it.”

He allowed her to remove his clothing, raising his arms as she pulled his tunic off and standing there motionlessly as she ran her hands along his broad chest. Rey remembered seeing this from their shared vision a year ago. It excited her to see it once more.

She took care when it came to removing his trousers. His bulge was a sensitive area and she went slowly when moving the zipper down over it. Rey had never seen a man’s genitalia before and was eager to see what his looked like. When she pulled his underwear down, it came forth and she marveled at the size. It certainly hadn’t been this big earlier.

Now free of his clothing, Rey resumed stroking his penis. She had him sit down on the bed while she worked her hand up and down over it. He seemed to be vastly enjoying this as he let out many variations of “Fuck” and “Oh god.”

Rey was thoughtful as she stroked him. Her own sex was burning as she did this. Was that what had to happen then? Did he need to put this inside of her and that would satisfy her? Rey wondered if he would fit. Her opening did not seem to be very big and he was very large. Still, that seemed to be how sex worked.

          As if on cue, Kylo instructed her to stand up. Rey released him and did as she was told. He began to unzip her dress and her heart began to pound harder in her chest as she did. This was it—he was going to see her. She had never shown her body to anyone before. What was he going to think?

          “God,” he remarked as he looked her up and down once her dress was on the floor.

          “What?” asked Rey, pulling her arms instinctively over her breasts to cover them up.

          “Your body is amazing,” he growled. “I want you—so badly.”

Pulling her onto his lap on the bed, he began to cover her throat with kisses. Grabbing her by the wrists, he pulled her arms away from her breasts so that he could kiss them as well. Rey gasped as his tongue moved over her nipples. He bit and sucked them, sending her into a near frenzy from the erotic sensations this brought on.

          “Kylo,” she whimpered as he worked. She moved her womanhood forward on his lap so that it slid over his penis. His tip was poised at her entrance and she instinctively began to push him inside of her.

          Suddenly, he tossed her back onto the bed. Laying down beside her, he pressed his lips to her ear and whispered “Call me Ben.”

          She felt his hand at her entrance. He was moving his fingers up and down over the small bit of a flesh above the opening. Rey moaned as he rubbed her. She had no idea touching this part of her body could bring on these sensations. Then he slipped a finger inside of her. Rey gasped. She had not been expecting that.

          “Does it feel okay?” he asked her.

          “Mm,” Rey replied. “Keep going.”

          Ben did as he was told. He moved the finger in and out of her, all while his thumb continued to rub the top part. Rey writhed and moaned on the bed, the sensations proving too much for her to control herself. When he stuck another finger in, it was a bit uncomfortable at first but then the pleasure came back.

          “Ben,” she cried “Ben please.” Rey didn’t know what she was begging for exactly but she hoped he would know.

          He did seem to know. Drawing his fingers out of her, he licked her juices off of them. “I think you’re ready for me,” he commented.

          Rey watched as he positioned himself on top of her. He reached down to position his still rock hard penis at her entrance. Then he looked down at her, his dark eyes boring into hers.

          “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked her one final time.

          She smiled, reached up and entangled her hand into his dark hair. “I want you inside me, Ben,” she replied.

          He leaned down and kissed her once more. This kiss was different, not so much hungry as gentle and almost loving. Rey felt him begin to push himself inside her. At first, it was a little painful as she had never had something so large in there before. He went slow though, giving her time to adjust before moving himself in deeper. Then he began to pull back out, slowly, before pushing himself back in. It was starting to feel better, the more he continued to thrust. _So that’s how this works,_ Rey thought.

          “Still okay?” he asked as he continued his slow thrusts in and out of her.

          “Mm-hm,” Rey replied. “You can go faster if you want. I can take it.”

          He obliged and his pace picked up. Rey moaned along with him as he began to go faster, and deeper inside of her. He had reached a hand down between them to continue rubbing her while she worked while his other arm was wrapped tightly around her. That combined with his cock moving in and out of her and Rey was thrown back into ecstasy.

          “Fuck, Rey,” Ben panted as he worked. “You’re so tight.”

          “What do you expect?” Rey panted back. “I’ve never done this before.”

          Rey wasn’t sure how long it took, but after a while she began to feel the pleasure start to grow higher and higher until it reached a peak that made her see stars. She bit down on his shoulder to stifle the screams she wanted to let out from the sheer amount of pleasure pulsing through her at that moment. She shook and shuddered but Ben continued to work on her until the pleasure died down and she grabbed his wrist to signal him she was done.

          He lifted himself up to look down at her again and she gazed back up at him, still in a daze. “That was amazing,” she breathed. “Did you feel it too?”

          Ben grinned at her. “Not yet. Give me a few more minutes and I will.”

          Rey wrapped her legs around him and dug her fingers into his back as he continued to pound himself in and out of her. He was no longer holding back and seemed to be giving it all he had. Rey understood now—with enough stimulation, just like her he would reach his peak and finish too.

          Sure enough, after a few minutes of relentlessly fucking her, Ben cried out Rey’s name in a different tone than he’d had before. She felt his penis spasm inside of her and his thrusts slowed, with his last one pushing as deep inside her as he could go. Then he collapsed on top of her.

          Nothing was said as the two lay there, catching their breath from the sudden passionate activity they’d both experienced. Rey could still feel him inside of her, his manhood twitching slightly. He would occasionally give a small moan if she moved or flexed a bit around him. She smiled and buried her face into his neck. It had been her first sexual encounter but from what she had experienced it was a fun activity.

          Then Rey’s eyes suddenly shot wide open. _Shit,_ she thought to herself, _I just fucked Kylo Ren._


	3. Chapter 3

          Rey sat on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a bedsheet and twisting her hair between her fingers. She stared at her discarded dress laying on the floor on top of Ben’s shirt and trousers. Even though it had been at least twenty minutes since their wave of passion had subsided, she still couldn’t believe she’d let it happen.

          What was wrong with her? Why did she allow herself to give in to such an act with someone who, up until that point, she had considered an enemy? It was a moment of weakness, she decided. That’s all. She was only human. Who could blame her for giving in to her physical needs?

          _Leia could,_ her traitorous mind accused. _So would the entire Resistance—you’re a traitor._

          “No I’m not,” she mumbled gloomily, tossing herself back down onto the bed. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering how she was going to explain this when she returned.

          _That will be a fun conversation,_ she thought. _Well everyone, I didn’t get the treaty signed but I did find out that Kylo Ren is excellent in bed._

“I’m glad you thought it was excellent,” came Ben’s voice from across the room. He was walking out of the bathroom carrying a glass of water and something small in his hands.

          She sighed. “Please don’t read my mind right now.”

          “It’s hard not to when you’re filled with this much conflict,” he remarked. “You might as well be shouting your thoughts.”

          He handed the glass of water and what looked like a pill to her. “What’s this?” she asked, holding the tiny pill between her fingers and examining it cautiously.

          “So you don’t get pregnant,” Ben explained. “Unless, of course, you wanted to.”

          Rey shook her head and hastily put the pill into her mouth, chasing it with the glass of water. She was in enough trouble as it was without adding proof of her traitorous act into the mix.

          “What happens now?” Rey asked after she had taken the pill.

          He considered her, sitting on his bed wrapped in the sheet and holding a glass of water. Rey wished he would put his clothes back on. The sight of him standing there naked and looking at her with such hunger in his eyes was not helping her resolve. She thought at first he was going to climb on top of her again. Instead, he shrugged and sat down beside her on the bed.

          “What do you think?” he asked her.

          Rey pulled the bedsheet more tightly around her. “I think that this can’t happen again.”

          “Why not?”

          She felt a flicker of annoyance run through her. He could be so infuriating. “You know why not.”

          “Because you think the Resistance is going to find out and banish you?”

          “It’s wrong,” Rey explained in a quiet voice. “We’re on opposite sides of this fight—we can’t be together.”

          She felt Ben’s hand rest on her thigh. “We’re together now, aren’t we?”

          “You know what I mean. This—what we’re doing—it can’t last. So we might as well—we might as well just stop before we begin.”

          “It’s already begun though,” he replied. Rey turned to look at him and regretted doing so instantly. Ben looked the same way he did when she closed their bond for the last time: so lonely, so desperate for her to stay with him. It made her heart ache to see him looking at her like that again because part of her did want to stay.

          She sighed and stood up from the bed. “I’m not going to give in to you again. I’ve made up my mind.”

          He was silent for a moment as she tossed the sheet back to him then began to pull her undergarments and dress back on. Rey wondered what he would say next. Would he try to argue with her? Or maybe he would accept it and let her go. He had the power to keep her there for certain, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t do it. She felt that when it came down to it, he wanted it to be her choice.

          “Very well,” Ben said finally. “I will consider the treaty and contact you in a few days. If I decide to agree to it, I will of course invite an ambassador from your side to return and be here for the signing in good faith.”

          She turned to look at him. “Just like that?” When he looked puzzled, she continued. “You’re going to let me go again? No manipulation or tricks to get me to stay?”

          “Why would I? If you don’t want it then I’m not going to force it on you. You say I’m a monster but I’m not that kind of monster.”

          Rey suddenly felt a pool of shame bubbling in her stomach. She should never have slept with him. All it had done was give him the false hope that she would stay with him this time. Now she had refused him a third time and he had to watch her fly away from him yet again.

 _Serves him right for what he’s done_ , she thought, although it was a half-hearted thought. She immediately regretted thinking it and began to busy herself with tying the ribbons on the back of her dress to take her mind off of it.

“My decision will have nothing to do with what happened here today,” he assured her. “You shouldn’t worry that you’ve failed your friends.”

Rey looked at Ben, surprised by his kind words. “I’ve already failed them,” she said quietly. She then picked up her shoes and headed for the bedroom door.

Kylo Ren escorted her back to her ship in the hangar. He explained that he would send word to their base on Novalis in three days’ time with his decision. As stated before, if it was agreed upon that the treaty would be signed, he would allow one ambassador from the Resistance to come to his ship and witness the terms agreed to.

It was strange, parting from him this time. There was no desperation in her heart to get away, but there was conflict. She couldn’t help but feel that leaving him was a mistake. Then again, staying would also be the wrong thing to do. If she didn’t return, surely the Resistance would think the worst and come to avenge her. Rey wondered if leaving really was the best choice since being with him had caused so much confusion in her heart.

“Take care of yourself,” he said as she climbed aboard her ship. His gloved hands were clasped at his midriff and he looked very formal as he saw her off.

Rey raised a hand to him. “Good-bye Ben,” she whispered. Then she turned and climbed into the ship, closing the door behind her.

*   *   *

Her return to Novalis was like a hero’s welcome. The entire Resistance had gathered around the hangar to see her disembark. They clapped and cheered for her as she walked down the ramp. Rey felt embarrassed and overwhelmed by the whole thing. She didn’t think she had earned such a happy greeting.

“Thank goodness you’re alright,” Finn exclaimed as he pushed through the crowd to embrace her. “We weren’t sure if you’d even make it back.”

“Did you see him?” Rose asked, giving her a hug after Finn released her. “Did you see the Supreme Leader?”

For some reason, Kylo Ren’s naked form came into her mind and Rey had to fight back a laugh. “Yes, I saw him,” she replied. “Where’s Leia? I’ll explain everything in the meeting room.”

Once everyone had gathered, Rey told them about her meeting with Kylo Ren. She explained how he was going to consider the treaty and then contact them with an answer. Half the room seemed relieved that he had decided to take it into consideration while the other half was doubtful it would happen.

“He’s toying with us,” said Finn. “They just want to give us false hope that they’ll make peace but then turn around and refuse.”

“We can’t assume that will happen,” Leia argued. “The New Order knows that we’re less of a nuisance to them if we’re pacified so they might agree to it.”

“They also know we’re less of a nuisance if we’re dead,” Rose muttered next to Rey.

Leia sighed. “I knew it was a long shot but we have to hold out hope that this peace can happen. Until then we keep doing what we’re doing—we can’t put our lives on pause while we wait.”

The General dismissed the meeting but kept Rey behind. Rey was unsurprised by this. She knew Leia would want to know how her son was and if it seemed like there was any hope.

“Did you confront him like you wanted?” she asked as they sat together at the table.

Rey nodded. “Yes, I did. I think—I think there may still be some light left in him. I mean, he let me board and heard me out. I don’t think Ben Solo is gone just yet.”

Leia nodded and a small smile spread across her face. “I was hoping he wasn’t gone. What did he say to you?”

She hesitated to answer. There was much she wanted to tell Leia about what happened, but at the same time there were several things she felt Leia would be better off not knowing. So when Rey launched into her story, she made sure to leave out those pieces she was too embarrassed to talk about.

When she was finished, Leia contemplated her story. “So…he is considering our treaty then.”

“Yes, I think so. He let me go too when I thought he would try and hold me there as leverage.”

Leia shook her head. “I knew he would hear you out. To what end remains to be seen.”

Rey twisted her hands in her lap. “When he responds—if he decides to sign the treaty—Leia, I don’t think I can go back.”

“Why not, Rey?”

“We have too much history,” she explained. “There’s too many hard feelings, too many complications. It’d be better if a neutral party went.”

“But Rey, you—”

Rey stood from the table. “I’m sorry, Leia. The mission wore me out so I’m going to go rest in my room for a while.” With that, she nodded at the General and took her leave.

It was agony trying to get to sleep that night. Rey knew that despite what Kylo Ren said, he could still refuse the treaty because of her. She wouldn’t put it past him to make things more difficult for them now since she rejected him again. The look in his eyes after telling her he wouldn’t let it affect his decision seemed honest enough, but could she be sure?

Rey turned onto her side. She felt dirty, unworthy of being back with the Resistance. If it ever got out what she and Kylo Ren had done together—none of them would look at her the same way again. She was a traitor, and nothing she did was ever going to change that.

The worst part? She wanted to go back. She’d enjoyed being with him and feeling him inside of her. It was something she never knew she had wanted until it happened. If he had called to her at that moment, Rey was certain that she could not stop herself from going back to be in his arms again.

 _Which is exactly why this has to stop now,_ she reminded herself. _You can’t be with him—it’ll destroy you both_.

But what if it didn’t? What if their being together was the true key to saving the galaxy? Rey’s influence on him could change him and turn the tides of the fight. If somehow he even managed to fall in love with her, Ben Solo could very well come back.

 _Listen to yourself, trying to justify this,_ Rey thought. _You’ve seen what he does when redemption is offered to him. You really think he’ll fall in love with you? Sex does not equal love. You’re just setting yourself up for more heartache._

Still, the thought persisted. Could she use her body to turn him? Would being intimate with her soften him? It was a dangerous plan and one that might not even work but it might be their only chance. Yes, he could still agree to the treaty and the Resistance would be saved. What about the rest of the galaxy though? Who was looking out for them under the power of the New Order?

Rey took a deep breath. She had an important decision to make. Either she remained with the Resistance and never saw Kylo Ren again, or she returned to him and allowed herself to give in to his seduction. If the former, she would save herself from the pain of being with someone when it couldn’t last. If the latter, it was possible she could bring him back to the light after all.

In the end, she decided it was best to sleep on it and make the decision when she was well rested. At the moment, she was too excited by her encounter and needed to relax. If she made her decision now it might not be the best one for her. So, Rey closed her eyes and did the best she could to push herself to fall asleep.

 

It was days before Rey finally got the courage to go to Leia with her decision. When she arrived at the meeting room, it was full of Resistance members cheering and clapping one another on the back. Confused, Rey found Leia and saw that she had a relieved smile on her face.

“I just received a transmission from the Supreme Leader of the New Order,” she told Rey. “They’ve decided to sign the peace treaty.”

Relief filled Rey as well. She had worried that what had happened between her and Kylo would affect his decision, in spite of what he said. She was glad he had chosen to spare them but wondered if there was some ulterior motive to this. When she voiced her concern to Leia, the older woman nodded.

“I wondered that too but he requested a transmission with me during the signing,” Leia explained. “He said that there are some pieces of the treaty he would like to alter, although he said it’s nothing that will break the peace between us.”

Rey nodded. “Leia, about the signing—”

The General placed a hand on her arm. “It’s alright, Rey. Poe has said he will go in your place as the ambassador for the Resistance.”

“I know I said I couldn’t do it,” Rey said slowly “but I’ve—I’ve changed my mind. I started this mission and I intend to see it through.”

“Are you sure, Rey?” put in Poe, stepping forward. “I don’t mind facing them. In fact, I’ve got a score to settle with old metal face and General Hugs.” Leia gave him an exasperated look and he put his hands up. “Kidding—I will, of course, be there on professional terms.”

Rey gave him a grateful smile. “I appreciate it but I’ve made up my mind that I will get this done. Besides, we’ve already seen that they will let me on board. With Poe, well, there’s a lot of bad blood there.”

Poe shrugged. “She’s got a point. Alright, let her go, General. Rey is worth twenty of me, after all.”

“What made you change your mind?” Leia asked after the meeting was adjourned.

“Just like I said, I feel like I’m being a coward if I don’t go back.”

Leia scrutinized her expression. She didn’t look convinced. “Did something happen between you two that you’re not telling me?”

Rey shook her head, not too quickly she hoped. “Other than a few questions about his motives, no,” she lied. “I stuck to the plan and delivered the treaty like you asked.”

The older woman did not seem convinced but let it go. Perhaps she figured that Rey would tell her in her own time. Rey fervently hoped she would not ask. What really happened in Ben’s room was not something she wanted to ever admit to, least of all to his mother.

When the time came for Rey to leave, she chose her own dress for the trip. After browsing and running her fingers along fabric for at least thirty minutes, she selected a shimmering blue gown that fit her loosely and hung off the shoulders. As before, she wore her hair down. She smiled as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. He was surely going to like this one.

As before, everyone saw her off with wishes of good luck and cheers. Rey’s heart felt heavy. She wished they wouldn’t look so cheerful. If they only knew what had occurred before—might even occur again between her and the Supreme Leader. Surely, they would not look so proud of her as they did.

Rey’s heart beat hard the entire trip, but not because she was afraid this time. She was anticipating seeing Ben again, preparing herself for the excitement he awoke inside of her. Would he want to be with her again? Would she? No, she couldn’t worry about that. The treaty had to be signed today—that was the important thing.

It seemed almost no time at all and Rey was back on the New Order’s ship. They had let her in without question this time, and when she disembarked it was the Supreme Leader himself who had come to greet her. He looked the same as before, and Rey couldn’t help but realize just how enticing he was.

When he saw her disembark from the ship, a flash of surprise crossed his face. Clearly, he had not expected her to come back. His surprise turned to a look of amusement then quickly back to his stoic expression. After all, General Hux stood beside him along with several Stormtrooper guards.

Hux was eying Rey with a look of pure disdain. “So, this is the scavenger girl who murdered Snoke,” he stated, looking her up and down. “She doesn’t look like a killer.”

“You may take your leave, Hux,” said Kylo Ren, not taking his eyes off Rey as he said it.

The red-haired young man turned to his Supreme Leader indignantly. “Sir, it was I and your counsel who discussed the terms of the treaty. Surely I should be present when you—”

“You may take your leave,” the Supreme Leader repeated, this time with more force. He took his eyes off Rey to meet Hux’s blazing look, his own expression equally serious.

At first, Rey thought Hux might try to argue further. Eventually, he nodded his head curtly, murmured “Yes, Supreme Leader,” then slunk off into a nearby hallway.

“You may leave us also,” Kylo added to the Stormtroopers. “I can handle an unarmed ambassador.”

Unlike Hux, the Stormtroopers offered no resistance. They instantly turned and took their leave without another thought. When they had left, Kylo Ren beckoned for Rey to follow him out of the hangar.

“Where are we going?” Rey asked as he led her through the ship.

“The meeting hall,” he replied, not looking back at her as he strode along. “I have the transmission to General Organa set up and the treaty alterations waiting there.”

They walked on in silence after that. Rey was just wondering if he was going to give her the silent treatment when he said softly “You came back.”

“Yeah,” Rey replied. “I did.”

“Why? I thought you were done with me.”

“I was.” She paused, choosing her words carefully. She had to play this safe, just in case he would go back on his word. Just in case—just in case he didn’t even want her anymore. “I started this mission though, and I intend to finish it.”

“Indeed,” was all he said in response to that. He still didn’t look at her and he let the silence between them resume until they arrived at the hall. It was a dimly lit room with a long black table surrounded by tall-backed chairs. On the table at the far end was a monitor and a transmitter box. Rey felt a small wave of disappointment crawl through her. So he did only want to get the treaty signed after all.

She followed him to the end where he called up the treaty on the monitor. He went through the alterations with Rey, his tone formal as he did so. When Rey asked questions, he answered her in the same calm, formal way. Her disappointment continued but maybe it was for the best that he was keeping his distance. Besides, it was easier for Rey to focus when his gaze wasn’t lingering up and down her body.

“I am going to contact General Organa now so she can hear my terms,” Kylo Ren explained as he approached the transmitter. “You don’t need to say much—she will likely just want to know you’re alive and unharmed.”

Rey nodded and watched as he sent out the signal to the Resistance. Lieutenant Connix was the one who answered the call, her small holographic form flickering as she announced the General would be with them momentarily. She then vanished and was replaced by the figure of Leia.

“Hello, Ben,” she greeted to her son. “Did Rey make it there alright?”

His expression and tone remained unchanged when he replied “Your ambassador arrived on our ship twenty minutes ago.”

“Let me see her,” Leia demanded. “I want to know that she’s unharmed.”

Kylo Ren turned to Rey and for a moment she thought he was giving her a smile, one that said “I told you so.”

Rey stepped up to the transmitter so Leia could see her. “I’m here, Leia. I’m alright, they’ve taken good care of me.”

“Good,” Leia replied. “Alright then, down to business.”

It was an hour that they spent going through the treaty, discussing the terms, debating outcomes. Rey’s head was swimming by midway through. Politics weren’t really her thing and she felt tired as the Supreme Leader and Resistance General went back and forth. She ended up sitting down at the table and resting her head on her arms while she watched them. It wasn’t until the time came to sign that she rose, finally feeling useful in this whole ordeal.

When the treaty was finally signed and Kylo Ren handed the drive back to her, Rey felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It was over now, she had done what she had set out to do. Now she could leave him and they would never have to cross paths again.

“I will see you upon your return, Rey,” Leia said to her before the transmission ended. “Ben, you will let my ambassador go in peace. If I find out anything has happened—”

“Our terms say that your people are not to be harmed if they are on my ship for a parlay,” Kylo Ren pointed out. “The girl will not be deterred in her leaving.”

With that, Leia bid farewell and the transmission ended. Neither Rey nor Kylo Ren moved, but both were staring in the direction of the door. Rey wanted to leave, tried to will her legs to take her out of there. For some reason, she remained rooted to the spot.

“The guard at the end of the hallway will escort you back to your ship,” she heard him say behind her. “You will not be harmed or followed as you make your way back to Novalis.”

Rey nodded, but she still didn’t move. _What’s wrong with you?_ she chastised herself. _Nothing is going to happen. Get going before you earn yourself more heartbreak._

“Rey?” he said, his tone more gentle. “What is it?”

“I—” That was all she could get out. She couldn’t explain herself. The desire to stay with him wrestled with the desire to leave him and it was keeping her rooted to the spot.

“Why aren’t you leaving?” he asked. His tone wasn’t angry but she could hear the annoyance in it. Surely he was growing weary of her constant indecisiveness towards him.

“I don’t want to leave,” she said before she could stop herself.

He was quiet as he processed her words. Then he said very quietly “I thought we agreed this couldn’t happen again. You said so yourself that we can’t be together.”

Rey still didn’t turn to look at him. She knew it would only throw her off if she did, and there were things she wanted to say as long as she could think straight. “I’ve given it thought,” she replied “and I realized that it’s agony being apart from you. I keep denying it, over and over and it’s tearing me up inside. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I—I want to be whole.”

“I know how it feels to be torn,” Kylo said gently. “But is being with me really going to make you whole? You seemed riddled with guilt the last time.”

She shook her head. Her mind had been made up, and it said that this was the only way the heartache would stop. “I don’t care. I don’t care what the Resistance or anyone else thinks. Kylo—Ben—I want you.”

Rey shuddered as she felt him draw closer behind her. She jumped slightly as she felt his gloved hands on her shoulders. He put his lips close to her ear and she closed her eyes as they brushed against her neck. The familiar sensations from last time began to overtake her. Yes, this was what she wanted, what would make her whole once again.

“Are you sure, Rey?” he whispered into her skin. “Because if you say yes, I am never letting you go again.” When Rey tensed, she felt his lips curl up into a smile. “I mean—you can leave my ship. But this—this will not stop.”

She nodded. “Yes, I am sure. We can keep it a secret from everyone. I’m an ambassador for the Resistance now. Surely—ahh—” She gasped and her eyes rolled back as he gently bit her neck and cut her off. “Surely you can think of reasons to bring me back here for that.”

“Oh I can think of plenty of reasons,” he said mischievously. His gloves had come off and his now bare hands had found their way under her dress. One of them cupped her left breast while the other worked its way between her legs. Rey whimpered as he slipped a finger inside of her. “Such secrets—I find it an exciting thought.”

“Ben,” Rey moaned as he began to finger her, all the while kissing and biting her neck and massaging her breast.

“Say the word, Rey. Say the word and I will stop.”

Her hand reached back, grabbing his hardening cock as firmly as she could. “No,” she commanded “don’t stop.”

He had her over the table after that, dress pulled down to her torso and lifted up in back. Her panties had been discarded without a care onto the transmitter and he now held her hips firmly as he relentlessly plowed into her from behind. Rey moaned and bucked back against him, enjoying the rough treatment. It felt good to have him inside her again. So good…

“Rey—ahh—” His voice and moans became higher and his thrusts became faster. Rey sensed his peak approaching and knew it had come when his cry echoed through the hall and his fingers dug into her hips so hard she knew they’d leave bruises. Somehow though, she didn’t care.

When his orgasm died down, he flipped her over onto her back and thrust his face between her legs. Rey gasped and writhed on the table as his tongue lashed at her clit and his fingers pushed in and out of her. Her own peak came not long after. Her back arched and she screamed, grabbing his dark hair as the pleasure surged through every inch of her.

Rey thought that would be the end after that, but when he stood she saw that his member was still hard and throbbing. It glistened in the dim light, still wet from his first entry into her. She watched him curiously as he took a seat at the table. He then grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap so that she was straddling him. She looked down at him in surprise, not expecting this turn of events.

“Ride me,” he commanded as he massaged her breasts.

She understood. Lifting herself slightly, she positioned him back at her entrance and then slid with ease back down onto his cock. He gasped, and she lifted herself up before sliding back down again. Over and over she did this, enjoying the look of desperation on Ben’s face, the sweat glistening on his bare torso. As he bit her throat and squeezed her breasts, Rey threw her head back in ecstasy. Truly, this had been the right decision.


	4. Chapter 4

“What are you smiling about?”

          Rey looked away from the target she’d been aiming her blaster at to see Finn turned towards her, giving her a curious look. Her face flushed in embarrassment. She had been so lost in thought of her previous night spent with Ben Solo that she hadn’t realized her surroundings. Who knew how long she had been standing there, holding the blaster out with a satisfied smirk on her face.

          “The peace treaty,” she lied swiftly. “I think it’s going to make life around here so much better now.”

          Finn nodded. “I have to admit, I had my doubts on whether or not the New Order would even bother signing it. I still can’t believe their Supreme Leader actually agreed to it.”

          “With exceptions,” Rey reminded him. “We’re not to attack any New Order vessels or interfere directly with their business.”

          He shrugged. “As Leia said, it’s only in place until we become more powerful than them. Then we can bring them down.”

          “Mm,” said Rey, taking aim once again at the target and firing shots. She could feel Finn’s gaze still on her and hoped that her return to training would signify that the conversation was over. For Finn, it was not.

          “What did he say?” he pressed.

          Rey stopped firing and turned again to give him a quizzical look. “Who?”

          “Kylo Ren,” Finn said, and he looked disgusted as he said the name. Rey didn’t blame him. He had suffered a great deal at his hand. “What did he say about you beating him in battle on Starkiller Base?”

          She recalled instantly the previous night as she lay on top of her new paramour’s chest. It had been after their sexual encounter, in his bedroom. They’d retreated there to make things more private and comfortable than the meeting room had been. When they were too tired to continue, Ben had pulled her on top of him and they lay there in silence for a long time.

          Rey had traced her fingers along the scar on his chest that snaked its way up his neck and across his face. Even though it was in self-defense, she felt a twinge of regret for the damage she’d inflicted on him.

          “I’m not upset,” Ben had told her suddenly. “About the scar, that is.”

          She looked up at him in surprise. “No?” she asked him curiously. “Did it not hurt that bad?”

          “Oh I didn’t say that,” he said. “It hurt like hell. I was angry at first but after the pain subsided I was more impressed by you than anything. After all, I was the one who attacked you first.”

          Rey remembered. “You hurt my friend, Finn.”

          “The man with you in the forest?” Ben asked, and she could hear the coldness in his voice. “He was a traitor to the First Order.”

          “And my friend,” she said a little more forcefully.

          Ben fell silent. Then he said somewhat reluctantly “I’m sorry I hurt your friend.”

          Rey rested her head back on his chest. For some reason, talking about Finn while she was naked in bed with Ben Solo gave her a bad feeling. So she said nothing more after that.

          “He was impressed by my skill,” Rey told Finn back in the present. “I think he might have even respected me for it.”

          Finn snorted. “Kylo Ren doesn’t have respect for anyone or anything. He’s a monster, and I’ll be glad when the galaxy is rid of him.”

          His words stung and Rey was tempted to argue. However, as her affair with the Supreme Leader had to stay a secret, she held her tongue.

          “I was going to head out into the mountains to explore tomorrow,” Finn went on. “Leia mentioned there’s some plants up there we could dig up and add to our gardens here. You want to join me?”

          Rey fired a few more shots at the target. “That sounds nice. We could bring Rose along too, since she’s developed a love for planting.”

          Finn cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Well I—I mean, I was hoping it could just be the two of us.”

          “What?” she asked blankly.

          He shook his head. “Nah, you’re right,” he said quickly. “Rose would really love it. We can take her with us.”

          Rey felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Finn meant a great deal to her, and she knew she should feel happy that he wanted to spend some quality time with her. After all, ever since their reunion they had constantly had others around them and never got to do anything as a team anymore. She got the feeling though that there was a different reason he wanted it to be just them.

          “It’ll be fun,” said Rey, ignoring his initial suggestion and turning back to the target. “I need something to take my mind off of yesterday’s trip.”

*   *   *

          That night, Rey sat on the end of her cot, staring at the wall. She considered her friendship with Finn and what it meant to her. It was such a treasured relationship, as he had been the first friend she ever had and her salvation from Jakku. The two of them had been through so much together. Would going further than friends really be their next step?

          The thought left her riddled with guilt. After all, she had just started her affair with Ben. If anything happened with Finn, wouldn’t that be a dishonor to him? And if Finn found out that she was sleeping with a man he so detested, how would that affect their friendship? Rey was sure she didn’t want to find out.

          Sighing, she flopped down onto her side just as there was a knock at her door. She considered remaining silent since she didn’t feel like talking but in the end mumbled a “Come in” anyway.

          It was Rose, and she was grinning ear to ear. Her smile slowly faded when she saw Rey laying dejectedly on her cot.

          “What’s wrong?” were the first words out of her mouth.

          “Nothing,” Rey lied “I’m just tired. What’s up?”

          “I was just stopping by to tell you what time we are heading into the mountains tomorrow,” she explained. “Finn wants to leave right after breakfast. Are you fine with that?”

          “Mm,” Rey replied.

          Rose continued to look at her curiously. “Are you sure you’re fine? I can tell when someone’s hurting. My sister Paige always said it was an intuition of mine.”

          Rey sat up. “It’s complicated,” she told her. “It’s also about someone I know. I’m afraid I can’t tell you all the details.”

          “Do you mind?” Rose asked, gesturing to the empty spot beside her. Rey shook her head and she sat down next to her. “Let’s talk about it hypothetically then. I won’t judge, and I’ve been told I give pretty good advice.

          Rey smiled at her. She had been very fond of Rose ever since Finn had introduced them. The two got on very well but they never had any real girl-to-girl conversations. Perhaps this would be good for her troubled heart after all.

          “Alright, hypothetical,” Rey said slowly as she tried to decide how to put it into words for Rose. “So there’s a girl, and she knows these two men.” That should be safe enough to say. Even if Rose had guessed the girl was her, Novalis had plenty of young men and she might not be able to guess who they were.

          “Keep going,” Rose encouraged. “Who is the girl?”

          “A friend of mine,” she replied. “I haven’t known her long but she’s still important to me.” That should be pretty ambiguous too. Rey and Rose had several female friends they had gained in the past year.

          She could see the wheels turning in Rose’s mind, trying to figure out which friend it was. “Okay,” she said, clearly still thinking hard about who it could be. “What’s going on with this girl?”

          “Well, there’s the first man she has been friends with for quite some time. She thinks he might want to be more than friends with her. However, the other man she met more recently. And—well—things with him have moved forward but are complicated.”

          Rose whistled. “This girl has _two_ guys? I can barely get just one.”

          Rey smiled. “Well, she doesn’t seem to be as happy about it as others would be. I guess the advice I want to give her is whether she should go with the old friend or the new man that she’s had encounters with?”

          She could tell her friend was thinking hard about the situation. “Well, I know you had to be vague to protect her privacy, but it’s hard to decide since I don’t know her or either of the two guys. Or if I do, you just can’t tell me. I know if it were me though, I’d go for whichever man I felt the strongest for.”

          “Really?”

          Rose nodded. “Of course. You shouldn’t try to force yourself to be with someone just because you think it’s what has to happen. Forcing it is just going to make them both unhappy, wouldn’t it?”

          “That’s true. But what if one of them ends up hurt?”

          Her friend shrugged. “That’s life, isn’t it? Someone is always going to end up hurt.”

          Rey thanked Rose for her advice and bid her goodnight. When her friend left, she sat back down on the bed and considered the advice she’d been given. While she harbored strong attraction to Ben Solo, she was unsure if it could last. If the Resistance ever found out about them then they would surely consider her a traitor and cast her out. And while she was sure Ben would take her in, she couldn’t stand the thought of being a pariah to all her friends.

          “You seem cheerful,” said a voice that nearly sent Rey flying six feet into the air. Looking up, she saw none other than Ben Solo standing before her in her room. He had on a loose shirt and pair of pants that looked like night clothes. Rey almost questioned how he got into her room before she remembered the Force bond.

          “I didn’t know this still worked,” she said, standing and walking towards him. His eyes followed her and watched as she stuck out her hand to touch his chest. Her hand passed through him and she frowned. “That’s weird, why can’t I touch you?”

          “Snoke was right in that he was the one controlling our connection,” Ben explained. “The Force did the rest but it was Snoke’s influence that allowed us to touch. Without it, we can only see and speak to one another.”

          Rey looked up at him. “Why are you here? It’s only been a day. I thought we agreed we would space things out so people wouldn’t get suspicious.”

          “Is it wrong to want to see you? I spent an entire year in agony over losing you. I want to get my looks in when I can.”

          She scowled. “I wish you had given me some notice. I’ve been training all day and probably look terrible.”

          “You look perfect,” he assured her. “If I were really there right now, I’d show you how perfect.”

          “There has to be another reason you showed up besides just to look at me,” she insisted, forcing back a pleased smile.

          “Yes, there is,” he agreed. “I want another meeting with you in about four days’ time. As part of our treaty, I can share opportunities for Novalis to expand their resources if I should choose to do so.”

          She gave him a skeptical look. “Is that what you’re going to use as our cover or something you really plan on sharing with the Resistance?”

          “Yes,” he repeated with a smirk.

          “And what else will be happening at this meeting?”

          He shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose you will just have to wait until then. I’ll be sending word to Leia tomorrow letting her know but I wanted to tell you in person.”

          Rey nodded then sat back down on her cot. “Thank you for the head’s up, I suppose. Any requests for what you’d like me to wear?”

          “Something easy to take off,” he suggested along with another smirk.

          Despite everything that had happened between them, Rey still felt a blush creep to her cheeks when he said this. “Alright,” was all she said in response.

          She watched as Ben walked over and sat down beside her on her cot. “Is everything okay? You feel a bit off right now.”

          Rey hesitated. Ben was the Supreme Leader of the New Order and had a lot to worry about already. She was unsure if he wanted or even cared to hear about the war raging inside her. Then again, he’d listened to her once before without complaint. Perhaps he would again.

          “You can tell me things, you know,” said Ben as if he had read her thoughts. “Just because we’re on opposite sides of this fight doesn’t mean I don’t care about how you feel.”

          “Are you sure? It’s a lot to unpack.”

          He reached out to touch her face. She could not feel his fingertips since they just went through her but she imagined that she really could feel it. “Go ahead, Rey. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

          So she did. Rey told him about Finn’s invitation for them to go together to the mountains and how he’d been disappointed when she suggested inviting Rose. She opened up to him about how she liked Finn but didn’t want to hurt him by flat out rejecting him.

          “I see,” Ben said when she had finished. “I’m sorry this affair is making your life difficult.”

          Rey shook her head. “It’s not that. I enjoy being with you and what we do together. But Finn—he’s my best friend. I don’t want him to have those kind of feelings for me because I like what we have already.”

          “I don’t blame him for feeling that way, although I am jealous. You’re so—well, you’re very beautiful, Rey.”

          She looked over at him in surprise. Ben seemed surprised too by his own words. But he continued “You are very brave and strong too. I’m surprised you don’t have more suitors among the resistance, to be honest. I guess I should be happy about that.”

          “Ben,” said Rey “that is surprisingly sweet of you to say.”

          He turned away. “Like I said, just because we’re involved sexually doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. Remember what I told you after our fight in Snoke’s throne room?”

          “That I’m nothing,” Rey reminded him flatly. “Yes, I remember.”

          Ben looked almost ashamed at the reminder. “I wish I had worded it differently. What I meant was that you mean something to me, not nothing. And because of that, I do care about how you feel.”

          Rey smiled. His words gave her a warm feeling in her chest that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. “Thank you, Ben. I appreciate you listening to me and your kind words.”

          He got to his feet. “Well, I was going to ask you to give me a reminder of what I’m missing,” he said as he looked down at her fondly “but it seems you’ve already done that. I should get back now. Tomorrow is another busy day for me—a Supreme Leader’s work is never done, you know.”

          “Okay,” she replied. “I guess I’ll see you in four days then.”

          Ben winked at her. “Unless I see you sooner.”

          After he severed the connection, Rey laid back down on her cot. Talking with him and Rose had made her feel better enough to at least get some sleep. As she closed her eyes, she smiled as Ben’s words replayed in her mind. It lightened her heart to hear that Ben did care. It meant that his intentions weren’t entirely for selfish purposes. Also, this meant that Ben Solo was not yet dead and could still come back. She just had to keep trying.

          Then there was the force bond. If it was still active, this meant that Ben could drop in to see her at any time and vice versa. This excited her since she wouldn’t have to wait as long to see him. True, they couldn’t touch when he came to visit but that wasn’t an issue. Ben proved he was a good listener, and Rey had a feeling she was going to need someone like that in days to come.

          Sighing with content, Rey rolled over to face the wall. She really had to get some sleep before her outing the next day with Rose and Finn. There was so much on her mind though that this was looking to be impossible. Ben’s appearance had stimulated her too much and reminded her of what awaited her in four days’ time. She sighed again, this time with longing. The next four days were going to be very long indeed.


	5. Chapter 5

          The following morning, Rey set out for the mountains with Finn and Rose as planned. She kept Ben’s words in her heart but tried not to think about him. Today was a day for friendship, not conflict over her paramour. So as they made their way there, Rey hung back a bit behind Rose to speak with Finn.

          “How have you been?” she asked him as they hiked. “I feel like we haven’t caught up in ages.”

          “I’m alright,” Finn replied. “Poe and I have been head of the new reconnaissance squad Leia formed.”

          Rey frowned. “Reconnaissance squad?”

          “Yeah, that’s what she’s calling it. Don’t let this get around, but we’re actually spying on the New Order’s movements.”

          For some reason, this gave her a sick feeling in her stomach. “But Finn, the treaty says—”

          “We’re not interfering with their affairs,” he cut her off. “Leia wants to keep tabs on them. She doesn’t trust that the Supreme Leader would just sign a treaty and leave us to ourselves. She thinks there might be something else going on, so it’s our job to report back what we see.”

          Rey pursed her lips. At first she wanted to speak out against this plan due to the precarious position that spying on the New Order would put them in. However, Leia had a point. They couldn’t be certain that the New Order would hold up on their end of the deal. And as much as Rey wanted to believe in Ben’s intentions as Supreme Leader, she still wasn’t sure she could trust him yet. So she said nothing and continued to chat with Finn about other goings on in the Resistance.

          She hoped the subject wouldn’t stray to her visits with the Supreme Leader but it happened anyway. Rose was actually the one who hung back to ask the question Rey had been dreading.

          “So what’s it like to be in a diplomatic meeting with Kylo Ren?” she pried.

          The question brought the image to Rey’s mind of their last “diplomatic meeting” when he’d bent her over the meeting room table and plowed into her from behind. The memory of his kisses on her shoulders and the moans of pleasure he emitted sent a pleasant tingle down her back.

          The corners of her mouth twitched but she kept the smile at bay as she replied “It’s not too bad—he’s very civil, you see.”

          Finn snorted. “Him? Civil? I find that hard to believe.”

          “Finn told me about your encounter with him on Starkiller base,” Rose went on, her eyes wide “I bet he’s pretty intimidating, especially after you beat him.”

          “I think I earned his respect,” said Rey. “He doesn’t seem too upset about it anymore.”

          Her friend laid his hand on her shoulder as they walked. “I’m sorry you have to be the one to deal with him Rey,” he sympathized.

          Rey shook her head. “Don’t be. Remember, it was my choice to face him again and become the Resistance’s ambassador to the New Order.” She thought back to the first time she and Ben had made love after their fight, and how passionate it had been. This time, she did smile. “I have no regrets.”

          They spent the morning and early afternoon exploring the mountain top and harvesting the plants for Novalis’s greenhouse. Rose knew the names of almost all the plants and was excited every time they spotted a patch of ones they needed.

          “This one is especially good,” she said as they came upon a mass of pale blue flowers. She picked one and held it up between her fingers. “When ground to a paste and mixed with a little water, it becomes a strong pain reliever.”

          Rey picked a few of them and put them in her satchel. She planned on putting them in some water when they returned and bringing them to Ben. Perhaps he could use them on the bruises he told her that he had received from sparring with his mysterious Knights of Ren. There were already a plethora of plants in her satchel that she intended to bring him as gifts.

          Finn noticed her collection as she opened the bag to put the flowers in. “What are those for?” he asked as Rose took off to examine some yellow flowers on the other side of the light blue flower patch.

          “I’m going to press them in a book,” she lied quickly. “I’ll put their descriptions underneath them so I can remember what they do.”

          She busied herself with digging up some of the blue flowers and putting them into the pots they’d brought with them on a hover cart up the mountain. She knew Finn was still looking at her though since he wasn’t helping dig up any of the flowers. Rey had a feeling he was going to ask some more questions she would have to lie to answer. As it turned out, she was correct.

          “What’s been going on with you lately?” he asked in a low voice, as if he didn’t want Rose to hear him.

          Rey didn’t look up at him when she responded with “What do you mean?”

          Finn crouched down so that he was eye level with her as she worked. “After you came back from your quest to find Luke and we escaped from the First Order, you seemed really down. You’d never leave your room in the evenings and during meetings you were withdrawn and hardly said anything. After you went to see Kylo Ren about the treaty though, you’re back to your old self again just about. So, what happened?”

          Rey looked at him finally. Her heart ached when she did. Finn was looking at her with the same expression as when he’d first confessed to her that he was a Stormtrooper. He had such an earnestness in his eyes and a desire for her to tell him the honest truth. It hurt her because she knew she would have to keep that truth from him. If she didn’t, she was certain it would cost her their friendship.

          “After Luke died I—I was just very sad,” she explained. “He had mentored me and taught me about the Force on the island so I felt a connection with him. It also made me sad for Leia since he was the last of her family.”

          “What about Kylo Ren?” Finn asked. “He may be a monster but he’s still her son. Do you think there’s no hope left of him ever going back to Leia?”

          The thought gave Rey a tight feeling in her chest. She remembered her goal to try and get Ben back to his mother. The pressure of this task weighed heavy on her mind and made her want to try even harder to bring Leia’s son home.

          “There’s always hope,” she said simply. “That’s why I feel better now. Ever since I saw him and he agreed to the treaty, I’ve felt hopeful—hopeful that Leia will get her son back after all.”

          Finn shook his head. “I don’t know, Rey. After that stunt he pulled on Crait, I don’t think there will be any coming back for him.”

          “How do you know?” she said a little more forcefully than she’d intended. “You act like you know him so well.”

          He raised his eyebrows suspiciously at her. “And you do?”

          Rey pursed her lips. “Well no, but—”

          “Rey, he’s killed innocent people and sliced up my back,” Finn reminded her firmly. “Hell, he threw you into a tree. Why does it sound like you’re sticking up for him? Are you guys friends now after all those meetings?”

          “No,” Rey snapped. “I just don’t want to give up on him yet for Leia’s sake. Shouldn’t you feel the same?”

          “I wish I was as forgiving as you apparently are,” he grumbled.

          His words stung. Rey opened her mouth to argue but stopped herself. She’d already stuck up for Ben more than she should have so she let it go. If she continued to defend him then Finn would surely get more suspicious than he probably already was. He was a smart man and wouldn’t have any trouble putting two and two together. So she shrugged and continued harvesting the flowers.

          She could tell that Finn didn’t want to let the subject drop, but at that moment Rose came rushing back shouting about how she’d found some rare plant or other. Rey couldn’t help but smile as she watched her gush to Finn about the plant and him try to look excited about it. She supported Rose’s feelings for her friend and hoped along with her that Finn would reciprocate. However, it seemed that he was hesitant to accept her feelings and continued to hold her at arm’s length.

          Rey sighed. She had a feeling that she was Finn’s reason for not going for Rose. After all, he’d shown interest in her in the past and that interest had only seemed to increase. She liked Finn, but not in the way she knew he wanted her to. With Ben and Rose thrown into the mix it was just one big mess that she wasn’t sure how to clean up. So, she continued to hope that his feelings would wane when he caught on to her lack of interest.

*   *   * 

          The day arrived for Rey’s next meeting with the Supreme Leader. For some reason, she found herself nervous. Maybe it was her time spent with Finn that had her feeling guilty again. Or perhaps it was the voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that Ben was going to lose interest in her someday. It had started off as just a small whisper that had grown louder in the past few days.

          Rey had started thinking about how Ben was such a great figure in the galaxy now. Surely, this would take him to various new places where he would meet various new people. And perhaps one of those new people would be an attractive woman who would catch his eye more than Rey had. She was surprised at how much the thought bothered her. This was supposed to be a casual affair—wasn’t it?

She was angry at herself for stressing over it. There were greater issues at hand, such as the fate of the galaxy in the hands of the New Order and her task of bringing Ben back to his mother. Rey wanted to approach Leia about it but there were a couple reasons for her hesitation. The first reason was that she didn’t want to get Leia’s hopes up only for them to be dashed if Ben decided not to return to their side. Him having a soft spot for her was one thing, but it was a whole other thing for him to destroy everything he’d worked to build for her. It would take time and there was no guarantee it would happen at all.

The other reason was she did not want Leia to find out what she and Ben had been doing together. It was more out of embarrassment than fear of being ostracized by Leia. She had a feeling the General would be more forgiving of the affair than the rest of the Resistance. Still, she was not yet ready to admit to Ben’s mother that she was sleeping with him.

After she had cleaned up and put on another beautiful dress, Rey met with General Leia and the rest of the Resistance leaders before departing. Finn was in the room, and Rey tried hard not to look at him. She caught him looking at her out of the corner of her eye and it brought to mind all her worry about his feelings for her. So, like with most problems lately, Rey chose to ignore it for the time being.

“We should be cautious about this offer from the Supreme Leader to expand our colony,” Leia was saying to those crowded round in the meeting room. “Though so far our unsteady alliance has held, we can’t be too sure that it’s not just them walking us right into a trap. Rey, it will be your duty today to decide what our best course of action is.”

“Me?” Rey asked in surprise, snapping out of her anxious reverie.

Leia nodded. “I trust your judgement more than I do my own. Surely, you will be able to see what our best course of action is.”

“General, I don’t know if I—” Rey stopped herself. She realized how weak her lack of confidence was making her look. And not just in this matter but in regarding her thoughts about Ben’s affections. So, she shook her worries away. There were people counting on her, so she had to try her best. “I can do it. You don’t have to worry.”

Leia smiled warmly at her. “I know you can,” she told her. As the meeting began to break up and Rey started to head towards her ship, Leia caught her by the arm. “Rey, can you do something for me please?”

“What is it?”

The older woman sighed heavily. “When you see the Supreme Leader—Ben—could you tell him I miss him?”

Rey’s heart clenched at the request. But she smiled and said “Yes, of course I will.”

“I know I shouldn’t be like this,” Leia went on “holding out hope for a son who’s probably gone for good. But still—if you ever become a mother, you’ll understand.”

*   *   *

Rey arrived aboard the New Order’s ship and was surprised when Ben wasn’t there to greet her as he usually did. Instead, she found herself face to face with General Hux. He was smiling in such a way that made Rey uncomfortable. She would rather it be a hoard of Stormtroopers with their guns aimed greeting her instead of him.

“The Resistance ambassador,” he said, giving her a curt nod. “I forget your name again. May? Shay?”

“Rey,” she corrected. “Where is the Supreme Leader?”

Hux’s smile turned into an almost sneer. “Why, miss your lover do you? Don’t worry, he’s simply taking a transmission from the senator of Naboo. She certainly has been contacting him _a lot_ recently.”

“The Supreme Leader isn’t my lover,” Rey argued, lifting the hem of her dress so she could keep up with Hux’s brisk pace. “And you said the senator of Naboo has been contacting him?”

He glanced at her as he replied “Oh yes. We are striving to maintain a good relationship with Naboo. They have plenty of resources and connections in the galaxy that we need. Also, I believe their senator is quite taken with our Supreme Leader. She is stunning, so you have some competition, _Rey._ ”

Rey felt her heart drop to her stomach. So there was another woman after all. Still, she knew she shouldn’t get herself worked up over simple transmissions. It didn’t mean they had the same relationship she had with Ben.

“Has the Senator made any visits in person to the Supreme Leader?” Rey asked Hux, trying to keep her tone indifferent.

“Jealous, are you? No, the Supreme Leader has not invited her here like he has invited the likes of you. Honestly, I think she would be a better match for him than the likes of you.”

Rey ignored him. She knew he was trying to get her to rise to the bait. If she did, it would go against the terms of their treaty. No member of the Resistance was to harm a New Order member. Hux probably wanted her to break the treaty terms so that they had an excuse to attack Novalis. She wasn’t about to let him goad her into destroying something they’d worked so hard for.

Hux continued to go on about how it was unsuitable for the Supreme Leader to be fraternizing with a member of the Resistance the entire way to the meeting room. Rey did her best to drown him out by focusing on what she came there for: To determine if their offer was a trap or not. She could tell Hux was getting annoyed with her for not lashing out because his snide comments got worse and worse the closer they got to their destination. He was outright insulting her by the time they arrived at the Supreme Leader’s chambers.

“Yes, _thank you_ for the reminder that I was a scavenger,” Rey finally shot back loudly as they waited at the door. “Perhaps the New Order doesn’t even need a trash compactor since that big head of yours can store so much garbage already.”

At that moment, the door opened and they both found themselves face to face with the Supreme Leader. He clearly heard Rey’s words since he had a look of confusion on his face. Rey could have sworn he was holding back a smile.

“What’s all this about?” he asked, looking from Rey to Hux.

“Nothing at all, Supreme Leader,” said Hux, straightening his uniform. “I was just reminding the ambassador of her place.”

Rey saw anger pass over Ben’s face. As much as she wanted to see Hux thrown against the wall, they had business to get down to.

“Just friendly conversation, Supreme Leader,” she said cheerfully, laying a hand on his arm. “Now, what was the proposal for the Resistance on Novalis that you wanted to discuss?”

Ben dismissed Hux and closed the door behind Rey as she entered his room. Immediately, he moved behind her and pressed his lips to the back of her neck.

“You don’t have to protect him,” he murmured into her skin. “Hux is an idiot, so if he was insulting you—”

“It’s fine,” Rey assured him as his kisses on her neck continued to move down to her shoulder. She closed her eyes as his arms encircled her and he pulled her close to him. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” he replied. One of his hands drifted upwards and he stroked her breast with his fingers. “I’ve missed you.”

“Well, is it business first or this?”

Ben sighed. Rey could feel his recently stiffened cock resting against her backside. She knew which he preferred, but had a feeling that their official business was going to take priority over their physical needs.

He released her and she followed him over to the table by his desk. He pressed a button and a holographic map of the galaxy came up and bathed the room in a light blue. Ben pushed one of the planets and immediately it zoomed in so that it took up the entire table.

“Ever heard of the planet Eresai?” he asked.

Rey shook her head as she walked around the table to read the description of the planet on the other side. “I haven’t. It says here it’s a—farming planet?”

Ben nodded. “Yes, but not moisture farming like Tatooine. They farm food—fruits, vegetables, and animal meat. That sort of farming.”

She frowned. “What do they have to do with us?”

“For the past two years, Eresai has been a war zone,” he explained. “The land is very rich, very fertile for growing which makes it very valuable to others in the galaxy wanting to have control of that. Thieves have run rampant, seeking to take the resources while those who live there have been fighting back. Snoke didn’t want anything to do with their battles but I do. Two months ago I sent New Order troops down there to wipe out the thieves and liberate those living there.”

Rey looked over at him through the holograph. “You saved them?

“Valuable resources exist there,” he reminded her. “No one is going to benefit from those things if the farmers are dead and their lands ravaged.”

“Yes, that is true. So what can we do?”

Ben tapped the button again and the holograph disappeared. “The battles on Eresai killed many people. As a result, a great deal of children became orphans.” His expression softened. “Snoke liked to take children from their families and turn them into Stormtroopers but I was never fond of that idea. As the Supreme Leader of the galaxy and the liberator of Eresai though, those orphans are my responsibility.”

Rey sat down. She thought about all those children without parents and her heart went out to them. She knew what it was like to grow up waiting for a family she knew in her heart was never coming back.

“I was hoping Novalis could take them,” Ben suggested. “They are no use to the New Order, and for many of them their homes were destroyed as well.”

“I don’t know,” said Rey, bringing a hand to her chin as she thought. “We’ve taken in many on Novalis already and our resources are stretched pretty thin as it is.”

“Our new connections with Eresai and other farming planets have enabled the New Order to boost its supply of resources. We can send whatever you need along with the orphans should you choose to take them in. Consider it a favor of the New Order.”

When he mentioned the other planets, it made Rey think of what Hux had said earlier. “Is Naboo one of those planets you’ve made a new alliance with?”

He frowned. “Yes, but what does that have—oh, damn him. He told you about Tanitha didn’t he?”

“Tanitha?”

Ben groaned. He walked around the table to approach Rey. “She’s the senator of Naboo. Ever since we first contacted them for an alliance she has made up every excuse to send me a transmission. It doesn’t surprise me that Hux is mentioning it to you behind my back as a means to make you jealous. He doesn’t like that we’re involved.”

“So, what do you think of her?” Rey asked, a slight chill to her tone that surprised her. She was ashamed at how jealous she was at the prospect of another woman trying to get close to Ben.

He smirked at her and she felt even more irritated. “Jealous?”

That was the second time someone had accused her aloud of being jealous. Rey took a deep breath and smiled sweetly up at him. “Not at all, Supreme Leader.”

“I didn’t think you cared that much, _ambassador_ ,” he teased. “To put your mind at ease I have no interest in Tanitha. She’s actually starting to annoy me with her constant calls.”

“Well then, I suppose I have nothing to worry about,” said Rey briskly. She stood up and went back to the table, not meeting his gaze. “I’ll have to contact Leia before we make a final decision, but I should think it would be alright to take in the orphans. We have space on Novalis, and if you’re sending resources with them then that will be fine.”

“I suppose that concludes our business,” she heard Ben say from behind her. “Now then, going back to the senator, were you truly bothered that I might be close with her?”

Rey gripped the edge of the table. She shouldn’t be acting like this. Ben said that there was nothing between them and Hux confirmed that they hadn’t been together. So why was she so bothered by it anyway? It wasn’t like she and Ben had a solidified relationship. Yes, they had a Force Bond and several hours of passion going for them but that was it. She didn’t own him and he certainly didn’t own her. He free to do as he liked.

“Rey?” Ben asked, moving close to her. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “Just feeling a bit—insecure, I guess.”

“What about?”

She turned around to look at him. “What are we, Ben? Lovers? Enemies? Friends? I just don’t know where I stand with you. If you’re going to be off with other women I’d like to know so I can prepare myself and not be hurt by it.”

His dark eyes looked into hers. He didn’t look upset by her words. Actually, his face seemed serene as he gazed at her. “It’s only you I want, Rey. Just you, no one else.”

“But what are we—”

Ben’s kiss stopped her words. Rey melted into it instantly, all worries forgotten as they came together. It was as though he had the power to wipe her mind for a brief period of time whenever he kissed her. She knew it should annoy her that he had such an effect on her, but at the moment she didn’t care.

“Call us lovers if you’d like,” he whispered to her when he pulled away. “I’m sorry I worried you but please believe me. You’re the only woman I want with me, every moment of every day. I crave you Rey, only you.”

“I crave you too,” she whispered back, putting a hand on the side of his face and looking into his eyes.

Ben lifted her up and carried her back over to his bed. Rey laughed as he tossed her down onto it. She watched as he removed his clothes and felt herself already wet with anticipation of what was to come. When he was fully naked, he kneeled down on the bed and lifted her dress so he could remove her panties.

Rey rested her head on the pillows behind her as his tongue went to work on her clit. She whimpered and moaned, the pleasure building higher and higher the longer he spent between her legs. When he finally surfaced and moved to climb on top of her, Rey put a hand on his chest.

“Your turn,” she said with a mischievous grin.

Ben switched places with her, his dark eyes gazing lustfully at her as her fingers wrapped around his hardened member. He close his eyes and let out a low groan as she took him into her mouth. His hand grasped her head, holding her down there while she moved up and down. Rey smiled around his cock when she looked up to see the effect she was having on him. It was enjoyable to see the most powerful man in the galaxy at her mercy.

Rey continued to go down on him until Ben could take it no more. He pulled her up and laid her down underneath him. Taking his cock in his hand, he positioned it downwards so that the head slipped inside of her. Rey gasped and tried to move her hips to push more of him in. He grinned at her and lifted himself so he was just out of reach.

“Tell me how badly you want it,” he commanded. “I want to hear you say that you want me.”

She looked up at him, feeling somewhat annoyed at the delay. Then an idea struck her and she gave him a devilish smile. Rey used the Force to push him forward, and as she did his entire cock entered her all the way to the hilt. They both gasped as it did and Ben’s hand went down to the bed to support himself after the sudden movement.

He cracked an eye open at her and smirked. “Couldn’t wait, could you?”

“I want you now, Ben Solo,” Rey murmured to him. “Now fuck me, or will I have to use the Force to make you do that too?”

She didn’t have to, as Ben obeyed and went right to work on pushing himself in and out of her. Rey wrapped her arms around him, her fingers grabbing his hair as he plunged in and out of her relentlessly. He pulled down her dress so he could kiss and fondle her breasts. She made little yelps as he did, especially when he encircled her nipples with his tongue.

They climaxed not too far apart from one another, Rey first and then Ben. He lay panting on top of her for a few moments before rolling off and allowing her to lay on her side. Ben curled around her, kissing her neck and shoulders and mumbling her name. She smiled as he showed such affection. It seemed like nothing mattered, nothing at all as long as she was there with him.


End file.
